About Me

Forgive me, creatures of the world able to communicate in the written English word. I like to procrastinate. I meant to publish this several months ago but I was waylayed by a bunch of "you can't say that - someone might actually listen to you and then sue your ass if something goes wrong". Not that I'm afraid of litigation - I eat Motions for breakfast - but sometimes when you're served a dish that's cold you have to find the right microwave (or gas mark) setting in order to ensure that it's heated up smoothly, evenly, without losing its original texture, flavour, and aesthetic. That and I had to find out which firm Paramount hired to deal with the myriad of suits that desperate parents filed against them after allowing their underage children to watch "Jackass" unattended, resulting in said children doing the honourable thing and attempting to eliminate themselves from the gene pool.

So, Mimi, why the blog? Why now? And what's with the title? And what's with the second person narration voice in italics?

In a nutshell - nah. I could never put anything in a nutshell. Here's the story:

I love men. All men. Well not the pedophiles but in my mind, those aren't men - they aren't even human. I love human men. Gay men. Straight men. Bi men. Asexual men. 40 year old virgin men. If you're a man and you need love, welcome to my blog.

Over the years, I have learned a lot about men from being "the friend not the girlfriend" type. And in all that I have learned, there is a common constant - good men, kind men, friendly men, gay or straight, are drawn to evil, psychotic, unscrupulous, conniving, hysterical (classic sense), maniacal, bunny-boiling women. The difference being is that gay men will take these women to parties and will insult these women to their faces, with all being forgiven over a martini (or 10 so the next day they can say "I'm so sorry about her - she's a distraught alcoholic and I'm a saint for putting up with her but she has no friends and you can see why."). Straight men, however, end up in long-term relationships with these women, with - well to say "disastrous results" is perhaps the most understated term set down in writing since the invention of the printed word.

If you've come here looking for the answer to why this happens, go somewhere else. If I knew that, I wouldn't be blogging here - I'd have a million selling best-seller and I'd be on Oprah touting the book to millions of evil, psychotic, unscrupulous, conniving, hysterical (classic sense), maniacal, bunny-boiling women.

Instead, I'm here to unlock the door for men of the world and tell them - you are not alone. Does your woman tell your friends what time to bring you home on poker night...and mean it? Does your lady call your office phone, cell phone, house phone, send you a text, send you an email, page you, call the club or bar where you hang out, call your friends' phones, all within a matter of 2.75 seconds if you don't pick up the first phone on the first ring? Did you wake up this morning only to realise that you don't have any more of your own friends? Are you making an excuse as you read this saying "yeah but that happens to all guys"? Are you losing or have you lost your sense of identity?

You're not alone.

Each post will contain an anecdote from a man that I have come across in my worldly travels that exemplifies the destruction of equality. Some of these anecdotes may be familiar to you. Some of them may have even happened to you. Some of them may even be you! To protect the innocent, and to ensure that I don't have to hire Paramount's external counsel, I'll use the name Elijah for every man in the story and Pandora for every woman in the story. Here is my disclaimer - no man named Elijah and no woman named Pandora are personally known to me. If your story is identical to the Elijah/Pandora episode of the week, then know that you are not alone in your troubles and drama.

Comments are always welcome, even and especially if it's "you got that all wrong. He was the big jerk and I was the innocent victim."

In relationships, there are no innocent victims. You make the choice to be with the other person. You make the choice to leave the person or to remain with them. End of story.

Enjoy the stories, learn from them, but mostly heed the advice that is the title of this blog.

Until next time,

MJT